CHAT IN BRUSSELS
T-day. When Donald Trump's tariffs went into effect this week, threatening to turn Europe's economic downturn from bad to CATASTROPHIC, the first question we asked ourselves here at The Chattering Classes was: Where is Ursula?
Aber natürlich. The answer, of course, was Samarkand. Where else would the leader of the world’s largest single market be when its main trading partner announced crippling tariffs that threaten to destroy the global economic order and European prosperity?
Deer, meet the headlights. Von der Leyen, who has spent more time exacting revenge on German wolves for killing her beloved pony than negotiating with Trump, had little to say. Speaking from what looked like an Uzbek bunker, the commission chairwoman delivered her usual recitation of platitudes. Her remarks lasted only about 20 minutes, but only because she delivered them in three languages.
As Trump would say : Sad!
DON'T LOOK UP
In the black American comedy Don't Look Up, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, about a comet that threatens to destroy humanity, skeptics simply ignore the impending Armageddon, pretending it doesn't exist.
The European People's Party appears to be planning to re-stage the show at its upcoming congress in Valencia on April 29-30, with none other than Manfred Weber in the lead role.
El Presidente: Despite the best efforts of the EPP old guard to find someone worth running against Weber, who combines the duties of party leader and head of the parliamentary group – a combination that some in the EPP find problematic from a governance perspective – they have failed to do so. Neither Croatia’s Andrej Plenkovic, nor the former Austrian commissioner Johannes Hahn, nor another prominent figure we swore not to mention were persuaded to give it a go. The main reason? Lifestyle.
We get it. Once you've made a living from a career in “civil service,” it's hard to go back to rubber chicken dinners.
Nolo contendere. So instead of a decisive battle, the EPP congress promises to be something of a disappointment. In fact, even the Spanish hosts seem to be reluctant to visit Valencia for Weber's election.
Dirty talk. Spain's centre-right Partido Popular party had initially wanted to move the congress to Madrid to avoid public anger over the deadly floods that hit Valencia in October, killing more than 200 people. Even the king was not spared the public's wrath.
After some thought, once PP's accountants realized they would have to hold a new tender and incur additional costs, they decided to stick with Plan A.
People versus the People's Party. For various reasons, passions are running high in Valencia, and the EPP is preparing for mass protests. The local population is demanding the resignation of the regional president, Carlos Mason, a protégé of the PP leader Alberto Núñez Feijóo.
There is nothing to see here. To avoid public anger, the EPP plans to cover the fence around the venue (Feria Valencia) with huge EPP banners that will block the view of protesters, sources tell The Chattering Classes.
Feijoo's 'Irish Exit' Feijoo, who was supposed to host the event, will join just a couple of hours before the congress ends, people familiar with the matter told us.
¿For what? Feijóo cited votes in the Spanish parliament put forward by Socialist Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez, insisting that he needed to be there.
More important matters. The votes concern a bill to write off debt for Spanish regions and a joint proposal by the PSOE (Spanish Socialists) and Puigdemont's separatist JxCat party to delegate central government powers to the Catalan government (Generalitat) on migration policy.
Good luck ! Feijóo said he would have to “do his duty” as a legislator. We understand he will only join the EPP congress on the last day (April 30) at around 11:00 a.m., just in time to signal the closing.
HALF CYCLE
UNRWA in charge. Speaking of going underground, last week's Chattering Classes hinted at a vote on the future of EU money for UNRWA, the controversial UN agency whose funding has been the subject of heated debate since the Hamas massacre in Israel on October 7, 2023.
TLDR : The Renew Party has split over Palestinian school textbooks, and the EPP has proposed cutting off funding to UNRWA.
Yes, that's about it. None of the proposals stood the half-cycle test.
The amendments did not satisfy either side – the king and the kingmaker, the EPP.
The amendment that came closest to the finish line still received 50 votes.
Reality check: The centre-right EPP may be the undisputed leader in parliament, but it still cannot count on 361 of its own votes to defund a group that many of its members – not to mention the state of Israel – consider a terrorist organisation.
THE ESPRESSO ROBUSTO
As anyone who has spent time in the EU capital can attest , the Italian influence in the city is growing by the day.
In a good way! If there's one thing the dry-as-dust parliamentary press briefings need, it's a little Peperoncino from The Boot, as L'Espresso's fiery correspondent Federica Bianchi proved this week…
Rarely, if ever, does anyone outside the Brussels press corps pay attention to the party press conferences before plenary week. Most journalists prefer to have their policy talking points delivered bilaterally and with free flat white.
Girl, we have an exception. When the co-presidents of the far-right ECR, Nicola Procaccini and Patrick Jaki, took to the stage at the press centre on Tuesday to lament the French court's ruling on Marine Le Pen the previous day, they clearly had no idea what was coming.
Enter Bianchi. As the two men recounted familiar far-right talking points about how the independent French court's decision to convict Le Pen was in fact an “unrepresented” travesty of justice, the Italian journalist could be heard laughing.
Jaki, a Polish MEP, wanted to know why.
“I laugh because you talk about the rule of law – you,” began Bianchi, who previously served in the EPP and the Greens in parliament. “You say you want sovereignty in your country, and now you judge the free justice of another country, for example France. How dare you?”
Cazo ! ECR spokesman Michael Strauss stood paralyzed for the next few minutes as Bianchi lambasted his stunned superiors. “You talk about propaganda,” Bianchi said, “but it is you who are selling propaganda to everyone here and now.” Watch the replay in all its glory here, starting at 11:12.
CAROUSEL
Karl who? Most people have probably forgotten who Karl Nehammer is, which is probably one reason why the Austrian government has nominated its failed former chancellor to be the next vice president of the European Investment Bank. Never mind that Nehammer, a former soldier, has no experience in finance other than saddling Austria with record levels of debt.
An offer he couldn't refuse . The EIB vice-president is entitled to a salary equal to that of the European Commission vice-president, i.e. around €22,000 per month.
Made man. Of course, the real reason Nehammer won the plum post is that he is a member of the center-right People's Party (ÖVP), also known as the Alpine Cosa Nostra, a formidable political machine that has been in power since 1987 without interruption. After leading his party to a disappointing result in the last election and failing to form a coalition, Nehammer stepped down as ÖVP leader.
It doesn't matter whether it's a success or a failure – the ÖVP will take care of everything itself.
That's all for this week. Remember: send your tips to transom@euractiv.com.
Servus!
(de)
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